I am not sure why but this song just makes me want to think about my mother…Despite all the good and bad stuff… But yet makes me want to ask myself what did I do to deserve this? Unleashing all of her anger on me…Here I go again talking about her like a rambling man…Sometimes I just wish that I would howlf like a lone wolf….
My latest post was just on August 27th…Don’t worry people I haven’t forgotten my blog just that I got a lot of feelings and emotions inside of me but yet I didn’t knew how to express them in words…
4 months ago I wasn’t sure about my future. But right now nothing really changed…But you know what they say nothing is set in stone. From September 1st I am going to start going back to school again…I feel like it’s a lot of steps back in my life…But it also seems that I have no other choice….which makes it even more sadder for me…Like a desperate little broken man… With a lot of uncertain hope and faith…
It’s hard for me these days. Sometimes I think that I am just a traveler stuck in one of the stops of his life. And I am terrified that my next chapter of a journey won’t be happening anytime soon. I am terrified that I don’t know the path. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I have a few paths that could lean-to. But I am afraid that I am going to make a bad decision. And I know that we learn from mistakes but I don’t think I will be ever coming back from that. I don’t know it is just a feeling. It might not make much sense to anybody else but myself. But that’s how I feel. I heard a lot of comments from other people on what I should do with my life. And it’s not their choice it’s my choice but they still have a need to express themselves. Today one young lady said that she doesn’t understand me sometimes. Because my choices doesn’t make sense to her. And I remembered a phrase that I read somewhere that Taurus will never understand the Pisces. And I totally believe in that. Sometimes I wonder. When do real life begins? When we are in high school? When we have the first job? First love? But it is not about that right now. It’s about my path in life. I have this passion for a creative stuff. Like graphic design,well I just want to believe that I could be succesful. Or maybe I could choose hotels industry. It’s a hard choice. And I will have to make it soon.
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley
If I fall for you. I will never recover. I fall for you. I will never be the same. I know it is just a words from the song. But I really feel the same. But I really wanna love somebody. I am thinking about it every single day. I know one of those days she will be mine. But it looks so far away. And right now I don’t know what to do. Cause I really want to love somebody. People try to calm me down. Some people really do not deserve it. But they do find happiness in love. But how come? What did I harmed? Because I want to be loved too… Maybe I am destined to be alone? Sometimes that thought do cross my mind. But I don’t want to. I hope she will come to my life. She will be loved.